Coping

      My anxiety has been pretty high for the past few weeks. It's the day before Thanksgiving, so there is a lot going on. I started to wonder if all the frenzied holiday activity, the stress of thinking about the possible houseful of people (even though I'm excited to see them), my recent setback, and the worry that I'm going to be super anxious and somehow ruin the holiday have something to do with my heightened level of anxiety. Whatever the cause of my anxiety, I've been using a variety of coping skills that I've slowly started to compile.
     Before this summer when my symptoms recurred with such severity that I was forced to seek counseling, I had no idea how to cope with my OCD in a healthy way. I was just doing mental compulsions to ease my anxiety for a short period of time, and that just made everything worse in the long run. Someone asked me about some of my coping techniques that I had been learning in therapy a while ago, and I thought I might share them, particularly right now, before Thanksgiving in case somebody else is struggling with the holidays, too.

Some of the coping techniques I've learned from mental health professionals: These might not work for everyone, but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try if you feel like it.

1. If you feel like you might have a panic attack, GROUNDING might help you. GROUNDING is a technique that gets you to do the opposite of what your anxiety tells you to do. Step 1: get on your feet because anxiety makes you want to curl up or lie down, so stand up. Step 2: Put your hands on something, for balance and to feel it, like a countertop, a bedpost, a table. Step 3: Find one thing in the room to focus on (instead of focusing on your racing thoughts or intrusive thoughts), and keep focused on that one thing. Step 4: Diaphragm breathing- slow deep breaths in through your nose, until you feel your rib cage expand as your lungs fill up, out through your mouth, lips formed like you're going to whistle (this tricks your brain into thinking that you're calm instead of in anxious overdrive). Counting while you breathe is a good idea. (My therapist suggested In- 1...2...Out...1...2). This is weird to do until you practice a little bit.

2. MOVING! If you're anxious, even if you've already had a panic attack and don't feel back to your normal yet, moving helps. I exercise 3 times a week (most of the time), and that physical activity has helped me manage my anxiety. When I've had a panic attack, I just want to sit and cry. That just makes it worse. So, I go for a walk. I particularly enjoy walking outside now that it's cold out. I just walk up and down my driveway for about 25-30 minutes, and it really does help. As long as you're moving it doesn't matter what you're doing, though...dancing, jumping around, anything.

3. FILL UP THE SPACE USUALLY OCCUPIED BY THE ANXIETY IN YOUR BRAIN. This one sounds weird, but it does work if you can find the right thing to do. A therapist at the crisis center taught me that, if you can fill your mind up with other stuff, you won't have the space for the anxiety to just hang out. Distract from it until it gets pushed far enough into the background. To do this I have to turn my TV on for noise, then I do something like read or color or do research on something that I want to learn. (Coloring is actually relaxing. I like those big, velvet coloring projects.)

4. UTILIZE YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM. Friends, family, clergy, your therapist, or a crisis center near you. Talking to someone about whatever is going on is a great idea. When something is stuck, rolling around in your mind, and making you anxious, if you talk about it, it takes away a little bit of the power the anxiety has. Keeping things bottled up gives them too much power, and it can feel like it's going to swallow you. So, call someone for a chat or ask them to come over. If it's too much for you to handle, it's always okay to call a professional so they can help you figure out how to work through it or how to handle the anxiety symptoms.

I also figured out some stuff that works for me, without the help of a professional. Again, these might not work for everyone.

1. LAVENDER OIL: My mom got an oil lamp for me, and when my anxiety starts to spike, I heat up some lavender oil. I read somewhere online that lavender oil is calming.

2.  SINGING: When I get anxious, I like noise instead of quiet. I get my iPod, I play something upbeat, and I sing. It takes my mind off the fact that I feel like I can't breathe. Plus, I'm distracted with trying to remember the words to the song.

3. COOKING: I've recently figured out how to use a stove, and I did it for this very purpose. I felt helpless, like I couldn't do anything. That helplessness added to my anxiety, so I got up and tried to fix myself something to eat, on the stove, like the adult that I am. I made scrambled eggs. It wasn't much, but just the idea that I wasn't so helpless helped me. Also, trying to concentrate on not ruining my dinner or burning the house down took my mind off everything else.

4. HUMOR: Laughter helps me a lot when I'm anxious. I have a book of cheesy kids jokes that I read out of. I also look on YouTube and Pinterest for animals doing silly things. (Pinterest Search: Funny Cats or Funny Dogs, and I laugh like an excited little kid).

5. WRITING: I write poetry when I need to chill out. I also try to work on my book. I also keep what I refer to as an Anxiety Journal. (It's just a binder that has all my OCD and therapy stuff in it, really.) Every time my anxiety gets so high that I feel like I can't deal with it, I write down whatever is making me anxious, what I'm thinking, my symptoms, and what I'm doing about it. I guess this helps me because I'm taking a step back from my own mind and observing what's going on instead of getting so lost in it that I can't function. I've even taken the Anxiety Journal to therapy to discuss it with my therapist.

6. MEDITATION (sort of): I'm not very good at traditional meditation where you sit in silence and clear your mind. Instead, I pray the Rosary. I read over the excerpts about the Mysteries that I have printed out, I count the beads, and I recite the prayers. (I pray the Catholic Rosary, but there is an Anglican Rosary if anyone is interested.) The recitation of the prayers out loud; the feel of the beads in my hand and the clinking sounds the beads make; and concentrating on the Mysteries lulls my mind into a calmer place. It makes me feel peaceful.

7. CLOTHES AND MAKEUP: If I've been anxious for a prolonged period of time, I'll pick out a nice outfit, something I feel pretty in, and then I'll do my makeup. I guess this is an effort to fake it til I make it. Even if I'm just at home, I still do this. Then I smile at myself in the mirror. I feel more put together. I feel more confident, and maybe its easier to tackle a problem when you feel more confident.

There is one thing I never do:

SELF MEDICATE: I do drink sometimes, maybe a beer or a glass of wine whenever I'm in the mood for it. However, I absolutely never drink when I feel anxious. I don't want alcohol or any sort of self-medicating to become the way I cope. Plus, if you have an anxiety disorder or depression, your body is a little bit out of whack in regard to chemicals in your brain. If you add something like alcohol, it just makes everything more off-kilter. Impaired judgment that can lead to regret and/or guilt later, sleep problems, memory problems, bad effects on blood sugar, dehydration, and even mood swings (some people get depressed or angry when they're drunk) are all related to self-medicating with alcohol.
     I did reach a point this summer when I wondered about self-medicating. I even looked at my mom and said, "I think I'd rather feel high on pot than to keep feeling like this." (I was having multiple panic attacks every day at that point. Plus, I was sure I was going to burn in Hell or cause the world to end or cause some horrific doom to befall my mom because of my intrusive thoughts.) I was only half-joking when I said it, too. (I've never tried any sort of illegal substance. I've never been high, but man, did it look appealing for a short few minutes.) I called a crisis center instead, and they helped me to bring my anxiety back down by using the Grounding Technique I mentioned above.
     For a brief moment, I understood a little bit, the draw of self-medicating. I understood how nice it must feel to be numb or feel like I didn't care for a little while. How easy it seemed to just have the quick but fleeting relief from whatever monster lives in your head. I just couldn't do it because it doesn't really fix anything. It just makes you forget your problem until you sober up, and then the cycle starts over again. So, I chose therapy instead. It's slower and sure, my OCD is still in the back of my mind all the time, but I'm dealing with it. I'm working on it, and trying to get better.
     I'll end with this: Finding healthy ways to cope that work for you is difficult, especially if you've been doing unhealthy things for a long time. It might seem like you'll never find something that works, but there is something out there. Just don't give up. Please, don't self-medicate because you think it eases your mental health struggle. Talk to a mental health professional for healthy ways to really deal with things. It's free to call a crisis center near you.