It's nearly Halloween again. You know what that means: horror movies hit theaters, Michael Jackson's "Thriller" comes back on the radio, haunted attractions spring up all over the place, costumes, costume parties, candy, and of course, the "Insane Asylum" attractions spring up just as frequently as the other haunted house attractions. There are even kids and adults in straightjacket costumes because they wanted to go as a "psycho" for Halloween.
Now, as an adult I sort of like Halloween. I don't like the scary stuff, but I do like the dark and moody festive vibe of the whole day. (I may also be dreaming of someday finally getting to go to a Masquerade Ball...) I also think it's hilarious to see people get their wits scared out of them at some Halloween haunted house attraction. I am by no means a Halloween hater. I'm just a Halloween observer instead of a Halloween partaker.
I do have one thing that I dislike about Halloween: the "Insane Asylum" attractions and the "psycho" straightjacket costumes. I don't like them simply because they use mental illness as a "scary" or "fun" thing. The fact that I still see these "Insane Asylum" attractions and the "psycho" Halloween costumes that consist of a straightjacket means that mental illness still isn't taken seriously and being treated as a real health condition. These attractions and costumes send out the message that people with mental health conditions like Dissociative Identity Disorder or Schizophrenia are scary monsters, instead of human beings with a brain that is unwell.
Think about it for a second: These "Insane Asylum" attractions have a distinct image they put out. Creaking beds and long, dark hallways. Pale, dirty, sinister people chained to walls, hiding in corners, strapped into straightjackets, screaming or muttering nonsense. Maybe those pale, dirty people even seem physically threatening, and they chase or pretend they may harm you. Sinister nurses and doctors in white lab coats loom with threatening instruments. You may even hear blood-curdling screams coming from some areas of the "Asylum" where patients are being "treated" for something. The attraction may even advertise that once you go in, you'll be lucky to make it out alive. Scary, right?
Now, I ask that you imagine you are someone that is suffering from suicidal ideation, psychosis, or a severe mental health condition so that a psychiatrist or therapist recommends that you go into a hospital for in-patient treatment. All you can imagine is a terrifying "asylum" atmosphere. I wouldn't want to go to some place that was always depicted like that, would you? I wouldn't want to be somewhere, where I thought I'd be put in a straightjacket or strapped down, would you? I'd only want to be treated like a human being. So, I'd probably go home (if I could leave the psychiatrist's office), and I'd suffer in silence instead of getting the help I desperately needed unless someone forced me into in-patient care. Then I would feel ashamed because everyone knows (from the movies, TV shows, and the "Insane Asylum" stereotypes), that if you go in the hospital that must mean you're completely crazy and possibly dangerous. The idea is terrifying for most people (myself included until I had a heart-to-heart with my therapist about what in-patient care was really like).
The "Insane Asylum" attractions and "psycho" straightjacket costumes keep the idea that people with mental health conditions are scary and dangerous alive and well. As a result of that stereotype, many, many people are too afraid to get help because they're afraid of the way the rest of the world will see them. If they do get help, the moment in-patient care is mentioned they are filled with so much fear and shame that they may just stop seeking treatment if the psychiatrist or therapist lets them leave the office. (I was one of those people. I was too afraid to get help because I was afraid I'd be locked away in a hospital for the rest of my life.)
I realize that so many people love these "Insane Asylum" attractions and the straightjacket costumes. I realize that they have been part of American Halloween "fun" for a long, long time. I also realize that it may seem like I am being picky and too sensitive by pointing out another aspect of the mental health stigma.
If you think I'm being too sensitive, ask yourself this, why don't they make "Crippled Person" costumes? Why don't they have a fake wheelchair or fake leg braces with a walker or crutches? Where are the ideas for how to "talk like a handicapped person" on Google? Why don't they have fake "Group Homes" for Halloween with physically and mentally disabled actors behaving in menacing and threatening ways? What about the sinister doctors offering up "treatments" for the handicapped residents that result in blood-curdling screams from the end of a long, dark hallway? There are none of those things.
If there was a "Group Home" attraction complete with disabled, scary people or a "crippled person" costume most people would be at least uncomfortable and at most extremely offended. People would react negatively because we all know it's wrong to use something like a disability for a "fun" scare or an attraction because it's wrong to make light of human suffering. It's so wrong to use something that hurts other people and makes them suffer in any way as something "fun" or scary because that isn't giving those suffering people the respect and dignity they deserve.
Mental health conditions and the people living with them deserve the same respect, but they don't get it. Every time an "Insane Asylum" attraction pops up or a kid or adult wanders around in a costume straightjacket, people with mental health conditions see their suffering made light of, and they see the fear society tells people to feel around a person with a mental health condition.
I'll end with this: Mental health conditions cause pain and suffering just like Cerebral Palsy causes pain and suffering. We all know it's wrong to treat human pain and suffering as something that can be used as a Halloween costume or a "fun" scary attraction. Those "Insane Asylum" attractions and the "psycho" straightjacket costumes seem harmless, but they aren't harmless. They actually send the message that people suffering with mental health conditions don't deserve the same dignity and respect as any other person who has any other health condition, and that, even after all this time, people with mental health conditions should still be feared by society. That isn't okay. Sending that message actually stops people from seeking treatment for their mental health condition. With this in mind, I hope we can all be mindful of the message we send out this Halloween.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Self Care
Self care is broadly defined as any activity we deliberately do to take care of our emotional, mental, and physical health. It includes seeking professional help and our own personal care routine.
Imagine this common scenario: You go to the doctor because you haven't been feeling quite right. Your doctor checks you out, and the doctor tells you that your cholesterol is high. Then your doctor tells you that you need to make some lifestyle changes to help you stay well. The doctor tells you to change your diet, to exercise more, drink more water, and the doctor even tells you about some supplements you can try to help improve your cholesterol and stay healthy.
Of course, you do what your doctor advises, and maybe you even do some of your own research about exercise and healthy meals that best suit you. You may even decide to learn to cook, and you might go out and buy a cookbook for yourself from the local bookstore. You probably even talk to your friends and family to see if they have any helpful tips or advice about some other changes you could make to be healthier. Of course, you implement the changes without the blink of an eye or any worry about what other people might think when they realize that you are unhealthy. You make the changes because your health and well-being are important to you, and you know that implementing a self care routine is the best way to make sure you stay healthy.
Imagine this other common scenario: You have a mental illness. You aren't feeling quite right. Maybe you're feeling more depressed or anxious than usual or you're thinking strange things more often than usual. Instead of making an appointment with your therapist or psychiatrist, you decide to "just deal with it". You "power through". You continue with your current lifestyle instead of re-evaluating your lifestyle to see if there are some things you could change to help yourself feel better again, like the amount you exercise, the food you eat, the amount you rest and relax, your workload, or maybe even adding in the use of medication (prescribed by your psychiatrist) or the use of supplements or essential oils (if you prefer a more natural approach).
Of course, you don't talk to anyone about it, not even friends or family. You feel like you can't. You feel like you just have to "power through" or "just deal with it". Of course, you don't rest more or think about medications or supplements to help you feel better. Of course, you don't take a mental health day. You worry about people knowing that you're struggling or that you aren't as healthy as you were weeks or months ago. You know you need help. You know you should implement some self care, but you're worried about being judged if you admit that you're struggling.
It's "only" a mental health condition, right? You don't have to treat those like real illnesses, right? It's just one of those things, like feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, right? You can just push through it to the other side without really being impacted too much by it, right? You can just suck it up, right? It's not like it can kill you, right? (I hope you're all as offended by this attitude as I am.).
Mental illnesses are actual illnesses, too, just like the heart disease you could end up with from high cholesterol. Mental illnesses deserve the same care and treatment as high cholesterol and the possibility of heart disease. Proper treatment and self care are REQUIRED to manage a mental illness, just like any physical illness. Both a mental health condition and something like high cholesterol REQUIRE some lifestyle changes to maintain a healthy body and mind. The self care and lifestyle changes are also more than likely going to be permanent because you can't just stop doing everything that got you well once you feel better (at least not if you want to stay feeling better).
I often see online that people with a mental health condition see self care as selfish. They don't like to take a mental health day or reduce their workload because they feel lazy. They don't like going to bed early because they feel boring. They don't like saying no to a night out with friends or canceling plans because that makes them seem flaky. They don't eat healthier because being healthy is expensive, and they feel guilty for spending so much money on themselves. They don't want to make the extra appointments with their psychiatrist or therapist because that makes them seem needy.
People don't feel that way about physical illnesses like high cholesterol. People don't think twice about going to the doctor to monitor heart function and cholesterol levels. People don't feel guilty saying, "Oh, I can't eat this or this or that or my ticker might give out." People don't feel guilty for arranging appointments or fun with friends around a workout schedule. People with high cholesterol don't feel bad for spending the money on healthy food because they know they need it to stay alive.
Some try to make the argument that self care is needed more with physical conditions because physical conditions are deadlier than mental health conditions, but that isn't true. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US. Each year, 44,193 people die by suicide in the US. So, mental health conditions are just as deadly as any other type of health condition (American Center for Suicide Prevention, 2017).
I can't emphasize this enough: Just like with any other health condition, self care for your mental health condition could save your life. It isn't weakness to realize that you might need to try medications. It's not a failure to come off medication and then later need to go back on medication. It isn't needy to recognize that maybe you need to see your therapist more often. It isn't silly or selfish to realize that you need to add in some relaxation techniques or meditation to your daily schedule. It isn't flaky to realize that you don't need to do an activity or be in a place that might negatively affect your mental health. It isn't lazy to realize that you need to rest more or that the amount you are working is hurting your mental health. It isn't crazy to realize that your job itself or work environment hurts your mental health, and then to go look for something different. It isn't selfish to spend the money on buying healthier food for yourself. It isn't crazy or selfish to carve out time to exercise, even if that means arranging plans around your workout schedule. It also isn't attention-seeking to talk to friends and family about how you're feeling so they know what's going on. Self care is smart.
Self care also isn't easy. Even after 2 years in therapy, I still struggle to have the right types and amounts of self care in my life. I see my therapist once a week, and during the summer months, when I'm dealing with the memories of some traumatic events, I sometimes see my therapist twice a week. (Yes, seeing a therapist and taking your medications are part of self care...) I don't struggle with keeping my appointments, but sometimes I don't look forward to them. I know sometimes after a period of high anxiety, that I should take a nap, but I HATE naps. (This frustrates my mother to no end.) I also lapse in my meditation practice. Sometimes it's a chore to exercise 3 times a week, and sometimes, I don't manage 3 times a week. I am by no means perfect when it comes to my self care routine, but I can tell when I've put self care on the backburner for too long because I feel worse. Sometimes, I even fall back into the old pattern of "powering through". Then I feel guilty for not being kind to myself.
I'll end with this: Everyone in the world could benefit from taking the time to figure out an adequate self care routine, not just those of us that live with a mental health condition. Self care is particularly important for achieving and maintaining wellness when you live with a mental health condition. It isn't always easy. You might not always want to do your self care routine, but your self care routine could save your life. Taking care of yourself and your mental and physical health is never selfish. It's smart.
Source for suicide statistics:
Suicide Statistics. (2017). Retrieved October 11, 2017, from https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/
Imagine this common scenario: You go to the doctor because you haven't been feeling quite right. Your doctor checks you out, and the doctor tells you that your cholesterol is high. Then your doctor tells you that you need to make some lifestyle changes to help you stay well. The doctor tells you to change your diet, to exercise more, drink more water, and the doctor even tells you about some supplements you can try to help improve your cholesterol and stay healthy.
Of course, you do what your doctor advises, and maybe you even do some of your own research about exercise and healthy meals that best suit you. You may even decide to learn to cook, and you might go out and buy a cookbook for yourself from the local bookstore. You probably even talk to your friends and family to see if they have any helpful tips or advice about some other changes you could make to be healthier. Of course, you implement the changes without the blink of an eye or any worry about what other people might think when they realize that you are unhealthy. You make the changes because your health and well-being are important to you, and you know that implementing a self care routine is the best way to make sure you stay healthy.
Imagine this other common scenario: You have a mental illness. You aren't feeling quite right. Maybe you're feeling more depressed or anxious than usual or you're thinking strange things more often than usual. Instead of making an appointment with your therapist or psychiatrist, you decide to "just deal with it". You "power through". You continue with your current lifestyle instead of re-evaluating your lifestyle to see if there are some things you could change to help yourself feel better again, like the amount you exercise, the food you eat, the amount you rest and relax, your workload, or maybe even adding in the use of medication (prescribed by your psychiatrist) or the use of supplements or essential oils (if you prefer a more natural approach).
Of course, you don't talk to anyone about it, not even friends or family. You feel like you can't. You feel like you just have to "power through" or "just deal with it". Of course, you don't rest more or think about medications or supplements to help you feel better. Of course, you don't take a mental health day. You worry about people knowing that you're struggling or that you aren't as healthy as you were weeks or months ago. You know you need help. You know you should implement some self care, but you're worried about being judged if you admit that you're struggling.
It's "only" a mental health condition, right? You don't have to treat those like real illnesses, right? It's just one of those things, like feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, right? You can just push through it to the other side without really being impacted too much by it, right? You can just suck it up, right? It's not like it can kill you, right? (I hope you're all as offended by this attitude as I am.).
Mental illnesses are actual illnesses, too, just like the heart disease you could end up with from high cholesterol. Mental illnesses deserve the same care and treatment as high cholesterol and the possibility of heart disease. Proper treatment and self care are REQUIRED to manage a mental illness, just like any physical illness. Both a mental health condition and something like high cholesterol REQUIRE some lifestyle changes to maintain a healthy body and mind. The self care and lifestyle changes are also more than likely going to be permanent because you can't just stop doing everything that got you well once you feel better (at least not if you want to stay feeling better).
I often see online that people with a mental health condition see self care as selfish. They don't like to take a mental health day or reduce their workload because they feel lazy. They don't like going to bed early because they feel boring. They don't like saying no to a night out with friends or canceling plans because that makes them seem flaky. They don't eat healthier because being healthy is expensive, and they feel guilty for spending so much money on themselves. They don't want to make the extra appointments with their psychiatrist or therapist because that makes them seem needy.
People don't feel that way about physical illnesses like high cholesterol. People don't think twice about going to the doctor to monitor heart function and cholesterol levels. People don't feel guilty saying, "Oh, I can't eat this or this or that or my ticker might give out." People don't feel guilty for arranging appointments or fun with friends around a workout schedule. People with high cholesterol don't feel bad for spending the money on healthy food because they know they need it to stay alive.
Some try to make the argument that self care is needed more with physical conditions because physical conditions are deadlier than mental health conditions, but that isn't true. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US. Each year, 44,193 people die by suicide in the US. So, mental health conditions are just as deadly as any other type of health condition (American Center for Suicide Prevention, 2017).
I can't emphasize this enough: Just like with any other health condition, self care for your mental health condition could save your life. It isn't weakness to realize that you might need to try medications. It's not a failure to come off medication and then later need to go back on medication. It isn't needy to recognize that maybe you need to see your therapist more often. It isn't silly or selfish to realize that you need to add in some relaxation techniques or meditation to your daily schedule. It isn't flaky to realize that you don't need to do an activity or be in a place that might negatively affect your mental health. It isn't lazy to realize that you need to rest more or that the amount you are working is hurting your mental health. It isn't crazy to realize that your job itself or work environment hurts your mental health, and then to go look for something different. It isn't selfish to spend the money on buying healthier food for yourself. It isn't crazy or selfish to carve out time to exercise, even if that means arranging plans around your workout schedule. It also isn't attention-seeking to talk to friends and family about how you're feeling so they know what's going on. Self care is smart.
Self care also isn't easy. Even after 2 years in therapy, I still struggle to have the right types and amounts of self care in my life. I see my therapist once a week, and during the summer months, when I'm dealing with the memories of some traumatic events, I sometimes see my therapist twice a week. (Yes, seeing a therapist and taking your medications are part of self care...) I don't struggle with keeping my appointments, but sometimes I don't look forward to them. I know sometimes after a period of high anxiety, that I should take a nap, but I HATE naps. (This frustrates my mother to no end.) I also lapse in my meditation practice. Sometimes it's a chore to exercise 3 times a week, and sometimes, I don't manage 3 times a week. I am by no means perfect when it comes to my self care routine, but I can tell when I've put self care on the backburner for too long because I feel worse. Sometimes, I even fall back into the old pattern of "powering through". Then I feel guilty for not being kind to myself.
I'll end with this: Everyone in the world could benefit from taking the time to figure out an adequate self care routine, not just those of us that live with a mental health condition. Self care is particularly important for achieving and maintaining wellness when you live with a mental health condition. It isn't always easy. You might not always want to do your self care routine, but your self care routine could save your life. Taking care of yourself and your mental and physical health is never selfish. It's smart.
Source for suicide statistics:
Suicide Statistics. (2017). Retrieved October 11, 2017, from https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/
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