The Power of Information

     Before I started therapy I had no idea what was going on inside my mind. Then I went to therapy, and I came home with packets of information related to my then diagnosis. Even between therapy appointments, the therapist had me doing research to try to fill in the other pieces of the puzzle. That only filled in a few of my puzzle pieces. These things were helpful, but since I wasn't getting information about OCD, I still was pretty clueless. My other therapist also didn't discuss any of the biological causes for anything that I was dealing with, so I was still sort of thinking that the obsessions and the anxiety were my fault...maybe even some sort of divine punishment for some sin or wrong I had done without realizing it.
     Fast forward to my new therapist. She gives me a lot of information specific to OCD and my anxiety and the biology behind some of my symptoms. An example: I have a lot of anxiety first thing in the morning. I had chalked this up to the fact that I was a bad person, and I had managed to do something awful, possibly in my sleep. My therapist explained that this wasn't the case. She told  me that a lot of people have anxiety first thing in the morning because our body releases cortisol to get us up and going, and that sometimes, too much cortisol can be experienced as anxiety.
     That little bit of information changed the way I look at my mornings completely. My anxiety wasn't caused by divine punishment or anything like that. My anxiety was just a reaction to too much cortisol first thing in the morning. So, I wasn't sad and hopeless anymore when I woke up to anxiety. I was able to take a step back and say to myself that everything was fine because this was a normal biological process involving too much cortisol. My mornings, and even my days, started to get a whole lot better, just from the little bit of information from my therapist.
     Another example: I had a couple of bad days. I felt it had to be my fault, that I was somehow not doing something right to keep my OCD and anxiety managed. My therapist then explained the Recovery Spiral. Recovery from mental illness doesn't travel upward to wellness in a nice straight line. Recovery goes in a spiral toward wellness. That means that sometimes, symptoms will reappear, even if you've been doing great. That doesn't mean you're back at the bottom or beginning again. That just means you hit a place in your recovery spiral in which your symptoms have come back.
     Even that little bit of psychological information helped me to better understand what was going on. That changed the way I thought about the incident and that changed the way I can react to it now. I can realize that it isn't just  me making mistakes in my recovery. That's just the way recovery goes for everyone.
     Information is always important, but it is extremely important when you're dealing with any sort of health condition. Information changes the way that people think, and by changing the way someone thinks about something, you change the way they react to it.
     I'll end with this: If you're seeing a therapist, and they aren't giving you the information you need, ask them questions, or at least ask them how you can find the information you need on your own. If you have questions about why you're having any kind of symptoms or anything like that, it's okay to ask. If you're therapist can't answer that very moment, they are more than willing to do research to get you answers that you need.