We're All Warriors

     My therapist said something a few weeks ago, and it sort of stuck with me. I mentioned that I felt like I was weak because I was having a hard time dealing with my anxiety. If I'm being honest, having a mental health condition made me feel like I was weak. I felt like the people that didn't have to deal with a mental health condition were stronger, or hardier, than me, like maybe if I was stronger, I would be better able to deal with my anxiety or I wouldn't have an anxiety disorder in the first place.
     Then my therapist looked at me, and she said, "You know, if you took the anxiety out of your brain and put it into someone else's brain, they wouldn't be able to deal with your level of anxiety. They just couldn't deal with it. So, I don't think you're weak. I think you're more like a warrior." I just had to sit there for a second and process that. I hadn't thought of it that way before. I was just thinking about the fact that I was feeling anxious and doing my best not to show it most days. I hadn't considered that, to someone else, my anxiety would be something they would experience as almost unbearable or crippling.
     I got home, and I was still thinking about what my therapist said. After I processed it, and I thought about it a little bit more, I realized that describing me as a warrior for dealing with my OCD and the high level of anxiety that comes with OCD was pretty accurate. I do have a steely determination to get myself better, and I fight for it every single day. It's like fighting a battle against an invisible enemy that knows all your weaknesses and uses them against you.
     I've felt tougher ever since I've been thinking about myself that way. My perception of my situation changed, and I haven't felt like a weakling anymore. I feel strong and tough, like a warrior. I like feeling strong and tough. That's actually why I work out, and why I wear a leather biker jacket. I also have purple in my hair because it makes me feel like a superhero, and superheroes are tough.
     I think anyone that deals with any kind of mental health condition every day is a warrior. We're dealing with something scary, and some days it can be debilitating,. Yet we put on a brave face each day, and we do our best to be high functioning, productive members of society anyway. Most of the time we don't even let people see us struggling. We just do our best to be fine, and we manage to survive another day on our internal battlefield.
     I'll end with this: Just because you have something like Bipolar Disorder, OCD, GAD, Panic Disorder, PTSD, or Depression doesn't mean you're weaker than anyone else. It just means you're human, like everyone else. When you're struggling, remember that you're a warrior, and that you can make it another day, even if you have to take that day hour by hour.