Is this Rational?

     I've always been a worrier. As far back as I can remember into my childhood, I always had something that could worry me to the point of tears. When my mom cleaned the carpets with one of those foam cleaners, I'd worry if I stepped in a damp spot that the chemicals in the cleaner would get absorbed into my body through my feet and I'd die. (I was around age 5.) Then once I started school, I worried that as soon as my mom dropped me off, something terrible would happen to her (like that she might die in a car crash) until I got distracted with classwork. I didn't like riding the rides at the fair because I worried that they weren't safe. In high school, I worried that we'd have a school shooting or a bomb threat. (We had one bomb threat my entire four years, and I didn't even go to school that day.) In college, every time I crossed the street, I worried about getting hit by a car. Today, I worry about too many things to list.
     All through the years, I've always been worried about one thing or another. One thing I never worried about, though, was whether or not my worries were rational or irrational. I didn't think worrying about things made me a "crazy" person. I thought worrying about things made me cautious, and that it meant I had self-preservation instincts. Worry was always "normal" to me.
     Then I got diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I was relieved to have a name for thing that made me feel like a "crazy" person. However, mixed in with that relief, was more worry...about my worries. One of the symptoms of OCD is irrational worry, fear, and anxiety. Irrational...that word stuck.
     I started to worry about how rational or irrational I was. Every time I got worried about something I got worried that my original worry was irrational, which meant it was just another way that OCD was trying to maintain control of my life. I started to pathologize every little thing and worry that the OCD was trying to take over again. I know that sometimes, my OCD brain will pick out a strange thing to make me feel worried about (Example: what if some place is haunted, and because I already have a funky mind, what if some malicious spirits attaches to me...totally irrational. Demonic supernatural possession was one of my first OCD obsessions, in case I hadn't mentioned that before.)
     I had to come up with a way to separate my worries into rational worries and my anxious thoughts. So, now when I find myself worrying about something to the point of anxiety, I have to ask myself some questions. Number 1: Is this related to any of my obsessions? If I answer yes, I toss the worry in the OCD pile. If I answer no, I ask myself question number 2. Question Number 2: If I had this thought at a no-anxiety time, would it give me anxiety or could I shrug it off? If I could shrug it off at a no-anxiety time, that means (for me) that the worry is tied to my anxiety disorder. If it would still cause me anxiety at a time when I wasn't feeling any anxiety, then (for me) it means the worry is a rational worry.
     Example: I recently thought of switching from whole milk to soy milk, and so I got a carton of soy milk to try. (Trying some new foods/drinks/medications that I have never tried before makes me anxious because I'm afraid I'll have an adverse reaction to a new thing and possibly die.) After I bought it, I was still researching soy milk and health-related things. I discovered that there is some controversy surrounding soy milk and it's effects on hormones in women. So, I was afraid to drink the soy milk because I was afraid of the health consequences. I had already drank some, and so I was anxious about it. Question 1: Was this related to any of my obsessions? The fear that I was going to die from the soy milk was, so I tossed that away. Question 2: If I saw this soy milk-hormone-trouble related stuff on a day when I had no anxiety, would I still be worried that I had consumed soy milk? The answer: Yes, I would still be worried, and therefore I would not continue to drink the soy milk even if the data was inconclusive (so far) because more research is needed. Conclusion: being worried about the health effects of soy milk is rational for me, and it's okay if I don't want to drink any more. It's also okay if I don't want my mom to drink it, too. It has nothing to do with my OCD.
     I'll end with this: It's so easy, when you get diagnosed with a mental health condition, to pathologize behavior, and it can take work to figure out the best technique to use to determine if a behavior is a "normal" behavior or a pathological behavior. The best thing that works for me in my life with OCD is to ask two simple questions. Question 1: Is this worry related to any of my obsessions? If the answer is no proceed to question 2. Question 2: If I was having a no-anxiety day, would this worry be something I could shrug off without any anxiety? That might not work for everyone, but it is a good way to learn to flag anxious thoughts versus rational worries. Just remember, because you've been diagnosed with a mental health condition doesn't mean that every behavior is caused by that mental health condition.