The Other Part of Prevention

*TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of suicidal ideation and suicide.*

When society as whole focuses its attention on suicide prevention, like right now, for Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, it tends to focus on only one part of suicide prevention. Society likes to treat suicide like some tragic, unexpected event that's pretty much only associated with mental illness. Treating suicide this way makes society as a whole tend to only focus on the human connection and emotional support aspect of suicide prevention. Society stresses that we should all check in with our loved ones, that we should make sure people know they aren't alone, that we should make sure everyone knows that they matter, and to make sure we destigmatize mental illness so that everyone knows it's okay to "get help." (The definition of "help" meant by society in this instance is only mental health treatment.)

These things are great, and they DO help some people who are struggling with suicidal ideation and who are fully suicidal, but just doing those things isn't going to prevent every suicidal person from following through. In order to truly prevent suicide, we, as a society need to do a better job at fixing the underlying issue that is causing someone to be suicidal in the first place, because people can be suicidal for a reason that doesn't have anything to do with mental illness.

Some people are suicidal because they don't have access to housing. Some people are suicidal because they don't have access to adequate food for themselves and their family. Some people are suicidal because they don't have access to a certain type of healthcare (including gender-affirming treatments, abortions, and substance abuse treatment) and/or medications that they need. Some people are suicidal because they don't have access to services to help them with a school-related issue. Some people are suicidal because they can't find work. Some people are suicidal because they're trapped in an abusive relationship with no way out without some kind of assistance. Some people are suicidal because they're trapped in poverty.

The other part of suicide prevention that society leaves out (probably so nobody has to acknowledge that suicide isn't just a tragic event that only affects the mentally ill and is often related to lack of access to resources and society/government shortcomings when it comes to helping people meet even their basic needs), is that IN  ADDITION TO emotional support, people often need some type of tangible support or help from a service like social services or government programs in order to fix the underlying issue that makes life unlivable. At the very least, people need someone (friends/family/volunteer community workers/social workers) to help facilitate access to the things that would fix the reason life felt unlivable for them. If people are treated in in-patient facilities and improve there, but then they're just plopped back out into the same situation with the same underlying issue that made them suicidal with no access to the thing that fixes the underlying issue, then, society hasn't done all it needs to in order to prevent that person's suicide. 

When I was struggling with suicidal ideation, everyone did everything that the pamphlets and websites told them they were supposed to do to help someone in my situation. I went to the ER and was evaluated by a crisis counselor. People were extra kind to me, and they made sure I knew they loved me. My mom took FMLA leave from work when I needed her. Then when she had to go back to work, she had other people come and sit with me so that I was never alone at home. Yes, I'm grateful for these things, and they made me feel safe at a time when I was terrified...but these things aren't what actually saved my life. 

What actually saved my life was a phone call. My mom talked to a family friend about what was going on with me. This friend had a good professional relationship with some mental health professionals that I had tried and failed to gain access to on my own. This friend made one phone call, and I had an appointment the very next week with that therapist that I hadn't previously had access to. (Thank you for helping save my life, Candice.) If my friend hadn't made that phone call and connected me to someone that helped the actual reason that I was dealing with suicidal ideation, I probably wouldn't be here today, even though, according to society, my support system was doing everything "right" to make sure I remained alive. 

There was a reason that life felt unlivable for me. I was in therapy, but the kind of therapy I was in was not working for me, but it was all I had access to. I needed access to a different kind of mental health treatment that I had tried and failed to gain access to. All of the kindness, check ins, and the emotional support weren't going to fix the reason I was dealing with suicidal ideation, because the only thing that could fix that was access to the treatment I needed. 

I know I was one of the lucky ones because all it took was a phone call from a friend to help me access what I needed to survive. This is actually how all of society should function when it comes to suicide prevention, though. Nobody should have to be lucky to have what they need to no longer be suicidal.

I'll end with this: Suicide prevention is more than just making sure someone has human connection, knows they're loved, and has emotional support. Suicide prevention is access to resources and services that actually treat or fix the reason someone feels like life is unlivable. Sometimes that reason is mental illness, but a lot of other times that reason is related to reality-based problems like lack of access to housing, healthcare, food, education, and other societal issues.