This week, I've been thinking about how a mental health condition affects our loved ones. A lot of times, life with a mental health condition is different than life before the symptoms set in. We might not notice because we're the ones struggling with the psychological symptoms, but life (sometimes) changes for those closest to us as well. (I know this isn't always the case, but it has been in my experience so far with my family.)
Life in my household changed when I finally came clean about my OCD symptoms. My mom was prepared to do whatever she had to do to make my life easier. She was willing to change shifts at work (which would have caused a drop in her pay); she was willing to take time off work (which she did); and she was even willing to quit her job if they wouldn't let her have the time off she needed. Her boyfriend even asked if he did or said anything that would trigger my OCD and Panic so he could stop doing whatever I said was the trigger.
I also had to come clean about my triggers as well. The things that trigger my OCD are easier to pinpoint because my OCD mainly revolves around 2 obsessional topics. My panic triggers are varied and random. Sometimes my panic triggers vary from day-to-day. Sometimes, my intrusive thoughts cause my panic attacks, but not always. Sometimes, I have no idea what triggered a panic attack. I just know that, if I have a particularly rough Panic or OCD episode in a certain place, like a restaurant, the movie theater, or church, (church was a big trigger), then I desperately want to avoid that place out of fear that just the memory of the rough time I had while I was there will trigger another Panic episode or more intrusive thoughts. My mom avoids these things and places with me until I feel up to trying them out again. (I had a panic attack in the movie theater, and we didn't go to the movies for at least 2 months after that, and it was my decision to go to the movies when we finally went back.)
Living with a mental health condition, some days can feel like you're hanging on by a thread. Our loved ones can see that most of the time, even if we think they can't. I know the hardest part for my mom is seeing me struggle on my bad days knowing that she can't fix it or take it away.
I also know that having a loved one that struggles with a mental health condition can be hard because some days are tense. Yes, conflict is part of any relationship, but with some mental health conditions that include anger-related symptoms, conflict can occur more often, and life can be tense at times. They love us anyway, and they will continue to love us.
I'll end with this: Life with a mental health condition is a rough road to travel, especially if you try to keep your friends and family out of the loop. I've learned that the hard way. As much as I hate to admit that I need other people to help me, it's a family effort to make the most out of treatment and recovery. You're loved ones truly want to help you and make your life better in any way they can, so if you're struggling, don't keep them out of the loop out of fear of suddenly becoming a burden or anything like that. They love you already, and they will continue to love you.
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