Ever since my OCD diagnosis, I've talked a big game about being open about the topic of mental health. I whole-heartedly believe the best way to eventually end the mental health stigma faced by everyone in our society is to be open and have conversations about mental health. I'm pretty open about my life with OCD. Yet, sometimes, I find myself very hesitant to engage in the topic of my mental health with certain people that I know, and especially with new people.
I'm not hesitant because I'm ashamed of the fact that I live with OCD. It's just like the fact that I live with Cerebral Palsy, too. Both of those things are part of my normal, but they aren't the part of my normal that I usually share straight away upon meeting someone. I've just noticed that, usually the first things you tell someone about yourself are the things that tend to define you in their eyes. I don't mind sharing the story of my OCD or my Cerebral Palsy if a new person asks, but, if left up to me, those two things will come out tagged onto the end of the way I think of myself.
I noticed when I first received my diagnosis that there is a fine line between being open about my mental health and thinking of the disorder as something that defines me as a person. I've heard people say, "I'm so OCD", or "I'm bipolar" like these things define who they are. I never say, "I'm so OCD." Instead I say, "I have OCD." It's one of the ways I try to keep myself separate from my mental health condition.
I know life with a mental health condition can be difficult some days. I also know about the preconceived notions and stereotypes that surround every mental health condition out there. Those of us with a mental health condition think enough about our mental health, so we really don't want to be defined by it. It took me a while to stop thinking of myself as the girl with the messed up brain.
I was more than "the OCD girl" before I got diagnosed, and I still think of myself as more than that after diagnosis. It just took me a hot minute to figure myself out again, but I got there. I'm a college graduate with a psychology degree. I'm a bookworm. I'm a writer. I'm a photographer. I'm a cat parent. I'm a Christian. I'm somebody's friend, sister, daughter, or cousin. Oh yeah, and I have Obsessive-Compulsive, Disorder, and I was born with Cerebral Palsy. Those last two items on my list are part of me, but they aren't things that I use to describe myself to other people anymore.
I'll end with this: Your mental health does not define you. You don't have to think of yourself as the Bipolar person, the OCD person, or anything like that. You are so much more than that. Don't let other people define you based on your mental health or anything else in your life. In the words of Robert Frost: Define yourself.
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