I suggested to two different people over the year 2016 that they might feel better if they gave counseling a shot. They both acted like I had just insulted them, even after I told them that I went to therapy once every week to help manage my anxiety. I didn't even state it harshly. It was just a tentative suggestion of, "You might feel better if..." One person insisted that they only wanted some medication to calm their nerves. The other person quickly snapped that they were "fine".
I saw something online earlier this week that suggested that this was a pretty common thing. People that have never sought counseling services think that counseling services are a bad thing (unless they know someone that had sought counseling or studied something like psychology, sociology, or social work in college). I'll admit that when I was younger and my mother (who had sought counseling for anxiety and some other things before) suggested I seek help for my anxiety, I burst into tears because I didn't want to get therapy. I didn't want to be one of those kids who had to go into therapy because she couldn't deal with something. Little childhood me was already different enough, and I didn't want the fact that people would think I was crazy or difficult to also be added into the mix.
Then I had to seek help, and I realized that counseling was this thing that could make me a better human, a human that was kinder to myself and more understanding when it comes to dealing with the anxiety that has plagued my life since I can remember. After the initial fear that I couldn't be helped was put to rest, I couldn't understand what the big deal was with therapy. It's taking care of a part of your body (your brain) that might be a little bit sick. It's like going to the doctor and dealing with chronic allergies or diabetes. After I realized how helpful therapy was, I thought everyone could benefit from learning new, heathier ways to cope with life's stress and new ways to be kind to themselves. After I saw the improvements I was making and that I was getting back to the level of functioning that I experienced before the anxiety, I knew therapy saved my life.
People give all kinds of reasons that they don't want to see a therapist. I've heard, "I can manage on my own, thank you very much." to "I just want some medication. I can get that from my regular doctor." to "I can't talk to a stranger about my problems. That's just weird." to, "I'm not crazy." all so people can avoid seeking out a counselor who could teach them helpful (and pretty cool) things about why they have anxiety, depression, or trouble adjusting, or complicated grief and how to cope from day-to-day.
Even in 2016, the stigma around counseling is still alive and well, especially in the area of the rural South where I live. Going to therapy still means you're crazy or that something is seriously wrong with you. When in reality, counseling is a thing, a service, that could make you a better, happier, more well-adjusted human. I mean, telling someone how helpful therapy can be is viewed as more out-of-the-box than suggesting they try Mindfulness (which is something that I also suggest to people). Telling someone they may benefit from therapy wasn't my way of insulting them. I wanted to help them because I cared about their well-being, and I was able to see how much counseling had helped me. I wasn't calling them crazy or weird or difficult.
Most people seem surprised when I tell them that I have a counseling session with a "shrink" once a week. They sometimes say something like, "I would never have guessed." Well, the reason you wouldn't have guessed is because I'm getting help so that I can function almost as well as I did before the worst of the anxiety set in.
Then some might ask how I can talk to a stranger about my problems. Going to a counseling session isn't like going in there and spilling all your beans to some random person on the street. It's like going to your regular doctor. How do people just go in to their regular doctor or and tell them that their urine is a funny color or something equally bodily-function-related? Even more awkward, how do women go to see their gynecologist/ OB-GYN? Simple: you trust their expertise and you have faith in their ability to help you or to fix your medical issue. It's the same way with a therapist, except the organ in question is your brain, and the bodily function in question is a possible imbalance in the chemicals your brain works with.
I'll end with this: Even though mental health stigma tells you that therapy is a bad thing and it means you're crazy or that something is wrong with you, that isn't the case. Counseling services are a wonderful thing that actually can help you, and make you a better human to yourself and to others in the long run. If a loved one tells you (kindly!) that you might benefit from seeking counseling services, odds are they aren't doing it to hurt or offend you. They mentioned it only because they care about your well-being. We're only human after all, and we can't always manage every single thing life throws at us alone. If you wouldn't manage pneumonia alone, why would you try to manage anxiety or depression or grief alone?
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