It's Not That Bad

     When someone asks me about my OCD, I tend to list the criteria for the disorder, and then I tend to explain what it's like for me without going into too much personal detail. I should stop the explanation there, but I never do. I usually feel the need to hurriedly add something like, "It's totally not as bad as I made it sound" or "I know it's not as bad as it could be". In other words, I tend to downplay my mental health condition and the impact it has had on my life. My therapist has even pointed out that I do this during my weekly sessions.
     I don't downplay my OCD because I think having OCD isn't actually that bad. I downplay it because I feel guilty if I don't. People can't physically see my OCD, and I'm still a high-functioning person. That makes me feel like, sometimes, I shouldn't say anything about my own suffering because I'm not suffering as badly as I could be. Sort of like, I know people have it worse, so I don't need to lump my "invisible" mental health condition in with those that are physically suffering.
     The guilt and the idea that I have to downplay my mental suffering comes from the mental health stigma. The mental health stigma tells us all that mental health conditions "aren't that bad" or that mental health conditions are less than more visible health conditions.
    Here's the thing: suffering is still suffering, no matter what form it takes. All forms of suffering need to be recognized and treated with compassion so proper care can be implemented. A sick brain is still a sick organ in your body that deserves the same level of respect that you would give a broken arm or a heart condition. A sick brain can take away a life just like any other untreated health condition.
     Perhaps the most important reason we all shouldn't downplay our mental health condition is because it makes light of our victory. There were points in my life (both during my struggle with undiagnosed and untreated OCD and for a bit after diagnosis) that I doubted my ability to fight and win against my own mind, and it was terrifying. But I'm still here, and I'm in a much healthier, more positive place. By downplaying my mental health condition and making sure I add, "It's totally not that bad", I'm making it seem like I didn't fight like hell, with everything I had, every single day, for all that time to survive and get to this healthier place.
     I'll end with this: If someone is dealing with a mental health condition, their suffering is not less than someone else's suffering with a physical condition. Suffering is still suffering and it deserves recognition, respect, compassion, and proper care. If you're managing a mental health condition and you're trying, and you're still here don't you dare take away your own victory by downplaying the struggle with your mental health condition.