Identify It and Flag It

     Some days I don't notice my intrusive thoughts at all. Other days, it feels like my mind stereo is on full volume, and my intrusive thoughts are all I can hear. I've even found myself physically recoiling and flinching away from my intrusive thoughts like they're a physical entity. (I know they're not, but they just feel SO REAL and SO TRUE some days, and that just HURTS...) It's still hard work to manage my OCD on those particularly loud days, but I've found that one method of dealing with my intrusive thoughts has worked well since I started (trying to) use it a few years ago, after my therapist kept saying that I should stop arguing with my intrusive thoughts and trying to prove them wrong.

     I mentioned the Identify and Flag Method in last week's blog post as part of the list of ways I manage my OCD. It's simple, but it feels difficult until it becomes a habit. Here's how I do it: An intrusive thought comes, and I say to myself, "That was an OCD thought." Then I imagine myself placing a giant checkmark over the thought as if to say, "Yeah, I see you, and I've dealt with you." Then I let it go. That's it. That's the whole interaction with my intrusive thoughts. I do that over and over for every intrusive thought until they all have a checkmark on them. I don't fight it. I don't engage with it. I don't argue. I don't analyze it. I don't reassure myself that I didn't mean it. I call it what it is, flag it, and get back to whatever I was doing. 

     Here's why that works (for me): By recognizing the terrifying thought as an OCD intrusive thought, and then calling it an OCD thought, I've reassigned the responsibility for that thought. I've made myself aware that I'm not responsible for the terrible and terrifying thought. My disorder is responsible for the terrible and terrifying thought. The Identify and Flag Method helps me (finally) let go of the responsibility I thought I had to control my brain and all the thoughts. (No one can control EVERY thought that passes through. Our brains generate a lot of nonsense and garbage thoughts all the time, but people with OCD have a harder time filtering out the garbage thoughts.)

     As soon as I've labeled the thoughts, my anxiety drops. If I'm not responsible for the thought, then I don't need to feel worried that I'll act on it, I don't need to feel guilty or ashamed of it, and I don't need to "undo" it. I've taken away the intrusive thought's power because I've recognized it as a thing that is separate from who I am. That means I haven't had the extreme emotional reaction to the intrusive thought, which stops the feedback loop of thought-->anxiety-->compulsion.

     I'll end with this: We are not who our disorders try to make us believe we are. We're not responsible for every single thought we think. Everyone's brain generates nonsense and garbage thoughts, and the Identify and Flag Method has helped me learn to separate myself from the garbage intrusive thoughts my OCD likes to toss out at me. It's hard to get used to doing something that seems counter-intuitive, like not trying to stop the thoughts from coming, but it gets easier with practice.