Labeled

     I remember exactly how I felt when I got my diagnosis from a mental health professional. I felt a mix of emotions. I felt relieved because I finally had an explanation for what was going on and a treatment plan. I also felt a little freaked out because something was actually wrong with me. I also felt labeled, like I had a Post-It slapped on my forehead that told everyone what, exactly, was wrong with me.
     I had a weird experience with this whole diagnosis thing because I was misdiagnosed in the beginning. I mentioned in previous posts that I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder in the beginning. I felt fine about that, for some reason. Panic attacks are something that other people have to deal with, too. Panic attacks can be a "normal" response to stress or dangerous situations, in some instances. I didn't mind people knowing that I had Panic Disorder. I didn't mind talking about it and telling everyone. I still felt labeled, but it was a label that I felt wasn't a big deal for me.
     Then my diagnosis was changed to Primarily Obsessive OCD (also mentioned as Purely Obsessional OCD and Pure O). I wasn't fine with that. For some reason, in my mind, Pure O made me sound "crazier", like something was really wrong with me. I found it harder to talk about Pure O than I had about Panic Disorder. I didn't really want people to know about it. I started to worry about stereotypes of people with OCD and how other people think of people like me. I was afraid people would suddenly act differently toward me, or think that I was crazy and avoid me. I was actually a little bit ashamed of my brain chemistry because it wasn't "normal".
     I hadn't had any experience with the stigma associated with mental health until this point. Then I got diagnosed with something that is considered a pretty serious condition (all mental health conditions are serious, but some are viewed as potentially more debilitating), and I really felt that diagnosis. I really felt like I had a Post-It slapped on my forehead. I felt like I had a secret that I desperately wanted to hide from everybody else. It took me a few days to even work up the nerve to tell the people in my support system about my change in diagnosis because I was afraid they might change their opinion of me. My response to combat that feeling was to post about my blog on my Facebook. (I had a small freak out afterwards.)
     I also posted my blog as a way to combat the mental health stigma in our society. In our society, people with mental health issues, whether it's Panic Disorder, OCD, PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Schizophrenia, or any other kind of mental health problem, often suffer in silence, and some commit suicide because they can't or won't get help. Society makes people think of mental health as a dirty little secret that they should handle on their own, instead of a condition like diabetes or allergies. Caring for mental health should be viewed in the same way as taking care of physical health.
     Then if a person actually gets help, the stigma can be felt even more, especially if medication is involved in treatment. Society tells them they are weak, when, in fact, it takes so much strength to admit that something is wrong and to ask for help. Plus, if someone gets a diagnosis, society makes them feel like something broken or something to be ignored or avoided. Society may even use your disorder as an adjective or as a joke on TV. That isn't okay at all.
     I found something that helped change the way I felt about my diagnosis. I found somebody that I already thought was pretty cool who also had OCD. She didn't have Pure O like me, but she wasn't shy about talking about her form of OCD. Allison Raskin, from Buzzfeed and the YouTube show, Just Between Us, talks about the fact that she's been dealing with OCD since childhood, and she isn't ashamed of it. Her creative business partner and friend, Gaby Dunn, also talks about her struggle with Depression. They're doing a great job of rocking at the whole life thing.
     I'm not saying that you should idolize influential or famous people or anything like that, and I'm not saying this should replace your support system in terms of helping you cope. I'm just throwing something out there that might make some people feel less weird after a diagnosis. I know, sometimes, dealing with mental illness can make you feel alone, like you're the only one dealing with your particular problem. I promise that isn't the case. So, maybe, you could look at somebody that also has been diagnosed with the same disorder in the spotlight, just so you know you're not the only one. (Hint: Demi Lovato is a pretty cool mental health advocate these days.)
     I'll end with this: You don't have to suffer in silence. Mental health is not a dirty little secret that everyone should be afraid to talk about. Mental health disorders are serious conditions just like diabetes, and they shouldn't be ignored, made light of, or joked about. Being diagnosed with a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, and neither is seeking treatment.