Mindfulness

     I've noticed some things about myself now that I've actually been paying attention these past few months. One thing I've noticed is that I hate feeling negative emotions. The second thing I've learned is that I don't have a very healthy way of dealing with those negative emotions. I pretend that I don't feel them and do my best to push them away. Or, I get lost in in my negative emotions, and then I can only think about how awful it feels or how long the feeling will last.
     I needed to find a better way to deal with what my therapist called distress intolerance. My therapist gave me a packet on distress intolerance, and apparently, the key to dealing with negative emotions and improving my distress tolerance is to just accept my negative emotions. This is a grand thing called Mindfulness. It sounds simple, but it's requiring a lot of work on my part. I think it's slowly starting to become easier to practice, though, but it's taking time.
     In case any of you out there have the same unhealthy ways of dealing with negative emotions, I thought I might share the Mindfulness technique.
     Mindfulness is defined as "a state of being where you are in the present moment, watching whatever you happen to be experiencing at that time, with an attitude of curiosity, and without judging or trying to change your experience," (Nathan and Saulsman, 2012). The process has a few steps:
1. Recognize and allow the emotion to be there. (Like I recognize my anxiety and just let it hang out in my mind.)
2. Observe the emotion-just observe the emotion hanging out in your mind like a third person narrator.
3.Describe the emotion (Like, when I'm anxious I recognize it by the tightness in my chest, my sweaty hands, and racing heart.)
4. Keep a curious and non-judgmental attitude about the emotion- don't label it good or bad. It's just an emotion, and we have all emotions for a reason.
5. Use imagery-This sounds strange, but it has been very helpful when I need to remain detached and observe my emotions. The key is to pick some image that lets you realize that your emotions come and go, and that you can't control very much of that process. The packet gave some examples, like a leaf floating down a stream, or an empty room in which people enter and exit.
   *None of these really worked for me, so I imagine my emotions as birds trapped inside a room, flying around, looking for the open door so they can fly back out to freedom.
     You may also have to deal with an emotional comeback. That's okay because emotions tend to come in waves. Just repeat the previous steps. (It gets easier over time.)
     I had read about Mindfulness before, online in some OCD and Anxiety Disorder forums, but I had no idea what it was or how to practice it, until I received the packet on distress intolerance from my therapist.  In the forums it was mentioned that some people treat OCD at home with Mindfulness, which is also something that I've been working on. When intrusive thoughts pop up, I try to just let them be there and I tell myself something like, "These are just thoughts, just random thoughts generated in my brain that mean nothing." I try to realize that the thoughts will come and go whether I want them or not because I can't control them. Then I try not to do any compulsive things, like reassurance seeking. Eventually the thoughts roll out of my mind, and the anxiety goes with them (most of the time).
     I'll end with this: Negative emotions aren't good or bad, it's the way we perceive and then react to them that makes them good or bad. It's okay to feel whatever emotion that you feel. Accepting your emotions instead of ignoring them, suppressing them, or engaging in self harm is key to being happy, healthy, and well adjusted.  Mindfulness might seem difficult in the beginning, but it gets easier over time.

Sources:
Nathan, P. & Saulsman, L. (2012). Facing Your Feelings: Learning to TolerateDistress. Perth,            Western Australia: Centre for Clinical Interventions.