Therapy by Phone

     Four weeks have passed since the last time I saw my therapist face-to-face. We have, however, had two phone sessions since the last time I saw her in person. Things are...okay?
     When I got the texts from my therapist informing me that she would be doing phone sessions during the current health crisis, I was anxious about it. I'm a person who has anxiety about phone calls. If I have to call in a take-out order or call a store or office to ask a question, I'm more than likely going to break out in a sweat at the thought of making those phone calls. And, heaven forbid, if it's an "unscripted" phone call when I don't know what I'm calling about or what the other person is going to say when they call me, like when a new friend or family member outside my immediate comfort zone calls just to chat. (That doesn't mean I don't like phone calls or talking to them. It just means it makes me anxious.)
     It felt like therapy by phone fell into that "unscripted" category. What was she going to say? What was she going to ask? What was I going to say? How long were we actually going to be on the phone? Where and how was I going to sit for my session? (I don't live alone, and I have a tendency to wander around while I'm on the phone. Therapy needed to be private, so I was worried about that, too.)
     I have plenty to say during my face-to-face sessions, and I'm not awkward in person. Yet, I was worried I wouldn't have things to say on the phone and that I would appear awkward or like I had something better to do than my therapy session because she couldn't see me on the other side of the phone sitting in anxious silence, twisting my hair so that it turns into one big knot, and trying desperately to make my brain reconnect with my mouth so I could say things. In short, I was worried that my anxiety about phone calls and her inability to physically see that I needed my session and that I wasn't just biding my time until I could hang up was going to be a barrier to getting the help that I needed during this time.
     The phone sessions have actually gone okay. The first session was filled with some awkward lulls on my part because I was actually sitting there twisting my hair, scrabbling for words. She would usually see that during a face-to-face session and ask me something about what I'm thinking if I was quiet for that long. The second session went much better because I was more prepared for this one.
      After the first spike in anxiety because of the change, therapy by phone feels the same as face-to-face therapy. I'm not anxious about those phone calls anymore. She starts off with the same questions, and we go from there, just like we do face-to-face. I didn't run out of things to say or forget to mention anything that I needed to talk about. We end with a date for the next session, just like face-to-face sessions. I pick a spot in my area of the house, and I sit there the whole time, just like I would face-to-face. The session also still lasts for an hour, just like face-to-face therapy. Phone sessions are also just as helpful as face-to-face sessions.
     I'll end with this: If your therapist has offered phone sessions during this time in place of face-to-face sessions, but you felt like you couldn't do them because it would be too weird, that's understandable. I was worried about how it would go, too. I encourage you to definitely call and schedule the phone session, if you can and if you need it. Don't let the change make you think it'll be too weird or that it won't help. Phone session are just as helpful as face-to-face sessions.