In My Box of Tools

    If you've read my blog for any length of time, I'm sure you've heard of my "box of tools". This is the imaginary place where I keep all of the helpful ways I manage my anxiety. (I've seen other people call it a mental health crisis kit or a mental health self-care kit, but I just like the imagery of a big box of things that I can sort through.) I know I've talked about the coping strategies, meditation, the diet changes, and the exercises (like yoga for anxiety) that are inside my "box of tools", but my box actually has a bit more stuff in it. I thought I'd share the complete list of contents of my "box of tools" in case anyone was wondering how to build their own.

MUSIC:

    Music plays a big part in how I manage my day-to-day anxiety, so I try to make sure I always have access to music whether it's on my laptop, on my phone, or on my iPod. It doesn't have to be the meditation or relaxation music, either. It can be any kind of music that you find comforting or that you find makes you smile. I have a friend that uses ASMR to relax.

    I, on the other hand, prefer listening to All Time Low when I'm anxious. Traditional meditation and relaxation music tends to grate in my ears, and I find that unpleasant. Something about the heavy drums and guitar relaxes me out. It's like I can feel the tension and anxiety melting out of my body, and I feel like I can actually breathe. A lot of the time, just listening to  a couple of All Time Low songs brings my anxiety down to a manageable level so that I don't need to take any supplement to reset my brain.

MOVIES, TV, and YOUTUBE:

    There are a couple of VlogBrothers videos on YouTube in which John Green talks about his mental health, and those videos always give me a renewed sense of hope. (I've made a couple of posts about a couple of the videos in the past.) I find that those videos always make me feel at least a little better. 

     I also keep my favorite TV show and my favorite movies in my "box of tools". Sure, it doesn't really "fix" anything, but sometimes, all your brain needs is a few moments of distraction from the anxiety so it can stop trying to pile more anxiety on top of the existing anxiety. Plus, watching my favorite TV show or my favorite movies gets me out of my head and into the present for at least an hour or so, and it stops me from thinking about how awful the anxiety feels or how loud the intrusive thoughts are on that day. 

COLORING BOOKS:

    When my brain feels like it's going too haywire for me to use mindfulness meditation, I like to color. I learned in a class that, for adults, the brain treats coloring like a sort of meditation, so sometimes I have to substitute. So, if sitting still and focusing on your breathing isn't for you, I recommend coloring. 

THE ROSARY:

    At the point I'm reaching for my rosary, it's been a REALLY rough day. I've been crying. I can't focus on anything. I probably haven't been able to eat much. Nothing else has worked so far. 

    I find praying the rosary peaceful, even if I no longer consider myself Catholic. The clinking the beads make as I move along the decades, the feel of the beads in my hand, the concentration it takes to keep track and say the right prayer on the right bead, the concentration of thinking about the Mysteries...all of it just add up to a peaceful, hands-on meditative experience for me. It's another tool that enables to me to literally feel the anxiety and tension leave my body. (Note: You don't have to be Catholic to pray the rosary. Anyone can do it if they want to.)

SUPPLEMENTS:

    I've never felt like my anxiety was severe enough so that I needed to take an actual anti-anxiety medication every day, and my therapist agreed. I've just needed to take something occasionally to help bring it to a manageable level after a spike or to prevent the (now) occasional panic attacks. So, my therapist worked with me to find some supplements for my "box of tools" that I could take as needed. I typically use these if nothing else I've tried has worked.

1. L-Theanine Capsules: L-Theanine is a compound that occurs naturally in green and black tea. In the concentrated capsule form, this compound works to noticeably increase the brain waves that help us feel calm and focused. I take one of these when I need a "soft brain reset", and I can usually feel the drop in my anxiety within an hour. (This supplement is not recommended for regular use by people with depression as it increases the brain waves that can worsen depression. It can also lower blood pressure so it isn't a good idea if you take blood pressure medication.)

2. CBD Candy: Yes, CBD products are the "new" hemp products that everyone keeps talking about. I was surprised when my therapist suggested I try a CBD product, and I was equally as surprised by how quickly and how well it actually worked when I tried it. I take one of these when I need a "hard brain reset", and within half an hour, I feel a little wonky but fine. These have a much stronger effect than the L-Theanine, and the effect lasts longer. Since I no longer have access to Ativan, I use these instead. (It didn't have to be candy. There is a CBD oil, but I chose candy because I wanted something that tasted good for once, and it looked a bit more fun.)

**Note: I'm not saying anyone should stop taking their prescribed medications in favor of a more natural approach. I'm also not saying that these supplements are a good idea for everyone. If you need medications, please, take them, and if you're thinking about trying supplements, talk to your mental healthcare team first.

SNACKS:

    This might sounds silly, but I keep small snacks around as part of my "box of tools". I keep small squeezable applesauce packets or small packs of crackers in my backpack pretty much all the time. I also keep small snacks in my room. I do this because, when I'm anxious, I don't eat, and if I'm really anxious, I will literally gag on food when I try to eat. So, I keep small snacks like applesauce and crackers because I can always take a few bites and put it away. Then I can take a few more a few minutes later. If I eat something small like that, I'm less likely to gag on it, and I'm still getting something to eat, which is the main idea.

    This idea works for any small snacks, I just like applesauce, and I like Ritz crackers. Some people eat just a piece of sandwich meat or something else small. The idea is just to eat SOMETHING.

    I'll end with this: It's a good idea to have some helpful things tucked away that you can use to cope on those bad mental health days. It doesn't just have to be ONLY things you learned in therapy. It can be anything that brings a sense of comfort or helps you manage symptoms. Each person's "box of tools" is personal, and that means that your "box of tools" doesn't have to look like anyone else's. All that matters is that you find HEALTHY ways to make yourself feel a little bit better on those bad days.