Walking on Eggshells

    There still seems to be this idea that people that live with mental illness are "unstable" as a constant state of existence, like we're walking the line of a delicate balance between normal and having a breakdown. This idea often leads people to "walk on eggshells" around those of use with mental health conditions as they watch, wait, and maybe expect some sort of breakdown to happen, because since we're "unstable" a breakdown is always lurking, ALWAYS imminent.

    I didn't notice that people with mental health conditions were handled so "carefully" until after I was diagnosed with panic disorder and OCD. Then, once people found out about my conditions, I started hearing things like, "Well, I didn't tell you about this because I didn't want to upset you." Or, "I just didn't want you to stress about it, so I didn't tell you." Or even, "I didn't tell you X because you have anxiety, and I didn't want it to get worse."

    Honestly, I don't need people to do that. Most of us with mental health conditions don't need or want people hiding things from us or shielding us from all of life's stress and unpleasantness because of our mental health conditions. (That can just make me feel like people think I can't cope, and THAT is a sure way to make my anxiety worse.) Life, in general, is stressful. Life is unpleasant at times. Situations can be bad situations. But...if we've gone to therapy, we have coping techniques and management strategies for all of those things, including the stress that can exacerbate our mental health conditions. 

    Just because someone lives with a mental health condition doesn't mean that they're always hanging off the ledge about to tumble into a breakdown. A large number of us are actually stable pretty much all the time, and we have regular "stable" lives with healthy relationships, good school performance, and demanding jobs like everyone else that walks through life without a mental health condition. 

    Sure, sometimes people with mental health conditions can have periods in which they become "unstable", but that doesn't mean that being "unstable" is a going to be a permanent state of existence. People can recover from those "unstable times", sometimes with therapy, the addition or adjustment of medication, or (occasionally in more severe or extreme cases) with in-patient treatment for a short period of time. (I recovered with weekly therapy, supplements, meditation, and support from friends and family, and I've been "stable" since I took my "mental health detour".) 

    For some of us, those "unstable" periods may only happen once or twice in a whole lifetime with mental illness. For others it may happen more often depending on the person and the illness, and for some, those periods of being "unstable" may NEVER happen. 

    I'll end with this: Having a mental health condition does not automatically mean that someone is "unstable". A breakdown isn't ALWAYS imminent. Even if someone had a period of being "unstable" before, that doesn't mean that being "unstable" is now a permanent state of existence. People can recover from those periods and achieve a more stable state of existence. If you know and love someone with a mental health condition, there is no need to "walk on eggshells" with them. Most of the time, we just want to be treated like everyone else as much as possible instead of being like something is wrong with us.