So, then when someone finds out that a relative, beloved friend, or romantic partner/interest has a mental health condition, they can be concerned about it and even afraid of it. Unless they have personal or first-hand experience with mental illness, they'll probably be confused by our diagnosis, and then things can get a little weird as they try to understand what our diagnosis means for us and for our relationship to them and the pretty much the rest of the world. We've all been there, right? I assume that we also have all been frustrated by that scenario and wish that the other person would just ask us about our mental illness and everything related to it instead of muddling through, suddenly treating us differently, and maybe even withdrawing while they figure it all out.
I get it. Mental health is a taboo topic, and people are hesitant to talk about it. This idea exists, too, that the person with the mental health condition HATES talking about their mental health condition because it's shameful, which can make people think it's a bad idea to ask us about our mental health condition because we might be offended or embarrassed. That's not usually the case, especially if we've been clinically diagnosed and are in treatment.
Most of us that live with mental health conditions have learned through therapy and support not to be ashamed of them, and we've learned to be honest if we find something to be triggering. That's just part of our normal, but we get how it can be a bit confusing or even scary, if someone else has just learned that we live with something like OCD, PTSD, depression, bipolar disorder, or any other diagnosis. A lot of us don't mind talking about what life is like for us with a mental illness. Most of us realize that openly communicating about our mental health is a good way to make sure our needs are met and to make sure our loved ones gain understanding of the mental illness, the treatment, and the wellness journey.
It's okay to ask us questions as long as the person asking does so in a respectful way and the question comes from a genuine need to understand a person and their mental health condition better than before. If there is something you don't understand or something you want to know about, you're allowed to ask, even if you feel like the question is probably stupid. (Hint: There are no stupid questions when you're trying to really understand something.)
I mean, be mindful of the setting if you're going to ask questions, like don't take us out to a fancy or crowded place or wait until we're surrounded by strangers or even friends or coworkers and then expect a deep mental health conversation. (These conversations are best had in private if you want more than surface level answers.) Also, if we're dealing with OCD or PTSD, be mindful of the fact that talking about the intrusive thoughts or the trauma can be triggering, and some days it'll be easier to talk about it than others.
I, and I assume most other people with a mental health condition, would rather someone ask us questions instead of running with the stereotype presented on TV or instead of having them start acting strangely around us as they try to figure stuff out on their own. If we don't know the answer we'll more than likely be able to point you to a website or article that can help you. (I actually used to have articles on hand that explained my subtype of OCD, and I had highlighted the important parts for easy reading.)
I'll end with this: Living with a mental health condition can be confusing and sometimes scary, for us and for the other people in our lives. If you find out that a relative, friend, romantic partner, or potential partner lives with a mental health condition it's okay to ask them questions about it as long as you ask in a respectful way. We'd much rather someone ask questions than run with the stereotype they saw on TV or inaccurate information they may have gotten from someone else and then end up treating us differently.
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